I feel stupid when I write the word banana. Its like, how many na’s are on this...– Demetri Martin (via hello-therelove)
Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex →
youreatowel: “…As for single people, ‘I don’t know, try eating chocolate cake,’ he said.”
The Daily Show's 8 Best Thanksgiving Moments →
Always Where I Need to Be [live] by The Kooks
Elf yourself is back! →
5 ways to get rich (without a single discernible... →
The 7 Most Annoying People at Thanksgiving Dinner →
I’m a Bitch, I’m a Lover by Meredith...
Drunk History from here
The Plan by Jack Handey
The plan isn’t foolproof. For it to work, certain things must happen: —The door to the vault must have accidentally been left open by the cleaning woman. —The guard must bend over to tie his shoes and somehow he gets all the shoelaces tied together. He can’t get them apart, so he takes out his gun and shoots all his bullets at the knot. But he misses. Then he just lies down on the floor and goes...
until: (via iveneverheardofyou) Roommate: I don’t like the new guy. At our staff meeting today, he described himself as “hardcore” about Accounting. Amelia: Oh god. Seriously? Who says that? Roommate: I’m like, buddy, describing something such as your dedication to number-crunching as “hardcore” does not make your shitty job seem badass. It just makes YOU look like the type of fuckface you buys...
Chromeo re-mixing Vampire Weekend’s “Kids Don’t...
Love Fool by The Cardigans