ryanpurtill: “Essentially if the world was a High School someone found America’s Burn Book and put it on Myspace.” -Me explaining current events to my adolescent niece
Hemingway's Blonde Jokes by Chris Riebschlager
Q. Why was the blonde staring at the frozen orange juice container? A. The container brought to mind the Sunday breakfasts with her mother in the days before she took her life. Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? A. Margot preferred darkness. Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your typewriter? A. The nicotine-stained keys and dried tears. Q. Why did the...
Things I Learned the Hard Way
ryanpurtill: Apparently “water boarding” is not some new awesome extreme sport. So don’t try and look cool and put it as one of your hobbies on Match.com.
They're getting divorced? Well that didn't last...
bestrooftalkever: I thought they’d be together for eva.